In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks


“Buy a good bed. It’s not like you’re gonna sleep every other week, or only Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. You’re not gonna be on the road with your band half the year. I’ll be conservative and say 350 days a year you’re gonna spend seven to eight hours, eleven to fifteen if you’re a Carolla, in your bed. It’s the most important investment you’ll ever make. You always hear that thing where they say every cigarette takes a minute off your life. Every horrible night’s sleep probably takes four days off your life. You’re stressed out, your back hurts, you don’t feel right, and you’re not productive at work. Please buy a decent bed.”